Leadership

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How Overloading Your To-Do List Erodes Your Self-Confidence

Have you ever looked at your to-do list with a general feeling of malaise? Have you had periods of feeling tired, overwhelmed, anxious, bored and generally zoned out of life? As previously written, these symptoms can be an indication of living outside of your true values. But what if your life is aligned with your values and you are still feeling this way? You may be surprised to find that your to-do list is the culprit of these yucky feelings.

When we decide to complete a task, for ourselves or someone else, our self-confidence becomes inextricably linked to the completion of that task within the agreed upon time frame. If we complete the task on time, we feel energized, productive and positive. Our energy is increased for the next task on our list. If we do not complete the task, we start to create stories in our mind to justify the late deadline. A significant portion of our energy becomes allocated to telling this story, while still trying to get the work done. Even when the task is eventually completed, our good feelings regarding the completion are significantly eroded.

If you chronically overfill your to-do list, you are setting yourself up for low self-confidence. It is impossible to feel good about yourself if you are missing deadlines, creating stories and struggling to get work done. If you find yourself over-committing and under-delivering, know that there is a simple, albeit not easy, way out of this destructive habit.

To increase your self-confidence, take 100% responsibility for your to-do list. From a healthy, 100% responsibility perspective, we say yes to only those assignments that we are able to realistically accomplish in the agreed upon timeline. When we take more than 100% responsibility, we are being a martyr.  Martyrs take on too much work because they feel that no one else will do the work as good as them. When we take less than 100% responsibility, we are being a victim. Victims blame others for putting too many items on their to-do list, without actively accepting responsibility for saying yes to more assignments than can be realistically completed.

Take 100% responsibility for your to-do list today and see how this one, simple change will have you immediately feeling more positive, energized, engaged and confident.

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Are you a Sara or a Joe? How To Get at Least 31% Better Results.

Sara wakes up. As her mind returns to conscious awareness, she rushes to cover her groggy eyes from the bright, beaming sun. A quiet discontent fills her mind as she runs through the anticipated day’s events. Her entire being is filled with dread. She heaves her achy feet over the side of the bed as her hand races to a jolting pain in her back. Her first thought as her feel hit the floor is, “I wish I was still in bed.” She slowly stumbles to the bathroom and grimaces at her puffy face in the mirror.

Joe wakes up. As his mind returns to conscious awareness, he feels a peaceful contentedness. He hears birds singing in the distance and notices the sun is shining. He takes a deep breath and thinks excitedly about the opportunities in front of him today. He stretches his arms high as he swings his legs over the side of the bed, letting out a wild yawn in the process. His first thought as his feet hit the floor is, “today is going to be awesome.” His eager feet move him quickly toward the bathroom and he chuckles at his disheveled hair in the mirror.

As you read the descriptions of Sara and Joe, who do you think will get better results? Science says that Joe is likely to get better results, because his outlook is more positive. When we are positive, our minds work 31% better than when we are in a negative, neutral or stressed state. When thinking from a positive mindset, we are more open to new ideas. We are more able to come up with innovative solutions. We are more consciously present. We see the opportunities in front of us.

When we start our day with a positive mindset, our brain works 31% better, which means we can at least expect to get 31% better results from our efforts. This is because all of our behavior and actions begin as thoughts. If we have a positive mindset, we take positive action.  If we have a negative mindset, we either don’t take action or choose actions that don’t actually support our goals.

Who are you more like, Sara or Joe? If you find yourself starting your day like Sara, what kind of outcomes are you getting? If you don’t like the results from starting your day in a negative mindset, give Joe’s habits a try. Waking and working from a positive mindset could be the key to getting at least 31% better results from your efforts.

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The One Universal Barrier to Success That Everyone Faces

There is a fundamental truth that limits our self-growth; we can only change those things of which we are aware.

  • If you don’t realize that no one on your team understands your vision, you won’t make it more clear to them.
  • If you don’t realize how yelling at your team demoralizes them, you won’t learn how to deliver a firm, but calm message.
  • If you don’t realize how consistently missing your own deadlines undermines your team’s motivation to meet deadlines, you won’t learn how to better delegate and stop procrastinating.
  • If you don’t realize how your own lack of self-confidence undermines your team’s confidence in you, you will continue to over-compensate for the confidence gap with ego-driven leadership tactics.
  • If you don’t understand how your fears hold you back, you won’t release yourself from those fears to reach new heights of success.
  • If you don’t understand your own knee-jerk reactions (automated behaviors), you will continue to feel remorse when you respond in a less than ideal way.
  • If you don’t know yourself deeply, you will never know your true capabilities.

We all have blind spots to our own strengths and weaknesses. No one is exempt from the limitations of self-perception. In order to realize our full potential, we need to remain open to feedback from others. We should seek this feedback from trusted others, such as mentors, colleagues, friends, family and even our team who report to us. These trusted others allow us to increase our self-awareness by better understanding how our thoughts, communications and actions impact those around us. An Executive Coach can also help you significantly increase your self-awareness and create a pathway to reaching your highest potential. Most importantly, we must understand that awareness empowers us to be present, purpose-driven and powerful.

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Are You Really A Leader In Your Organization?

How do you know, for sure, that you really are a leader? Sure, you have the title. You also oversee and direct others. But, how many of your people are taking action in alignment with the direction you give them? Leadership is first and foremost about influence. You are not really leading if no one is following. As Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “It is a terrible thing to look over your shoulder when you are trying to lead – and find no one there.”

The below statements are reflective of an influential and effective leader. Are these statements true for you? If not, you may identify some opportunity areas where you can increase your leadership effectiveness.

1. People look to you for guidance when they are challenged.

2. When in conversation, you find others matching your pace and enthusiasm levels.

3. Your team works with you to accomplish goals with minimal resistance.

4. Your team repeats your buzz words and lingo.

5. Your team meets or exceeds their metrics on an annual basis.

6. People easily adopt your ideas, even if they are new or innovative.

7. You understand what motivates your team as a whole and each person individually.

8. You have a clear set of values and you make decisions in alignment with your values.

9. Your team is operating at their highest level of performance, based on your encouragement and leadership.

10. When you initiate change, your team quickly moves from denial to resistance.