Change

By

Three Simple Tips to Defibrillate Your Brain and Create A New Life

When we awake from that dull sensation of sleepwalking through life, it can feel overwhelming to change things. Habits are hardwired into our brain and habits are 1,000 times stronger than the desire to change. It can feel impossible to change, but starting the change process may be more simple than we think. In 20 minutes or less a day, you can shock your brain into new ways of thinking, acting and being.

We shock our brain out of routine function by learning or doing something new. Each time we learn or do something new, we make a new synaptic connection. It is wild to see this in video. Neurons reach toward each other like outstretched hands, making a new connection. New connections change the physical wiring of our brain, disrupting our habits and routines.

Here are three simple, tried and true ways to disrupt your routine and make new synaptic connections:

  1. Read – I am a voracious reader. I will read anything and everything in sight. If you are too; find a new subject to read that expands your mind beyond your comfort zone. If you’re not currently a regular reader, read anything that interests you. Reading grows new synaptic connections by introducing your brain to new knowledge and different ways of thinking.
  2. Exercise – Moving our body in new and different ways is an exceptional way to grown new synaptic connections. If you don’t currently exercise at all, try taking a 20 minute walk outside. If you’re an avid runner, try yoga. If you’re a natural yogi, try weight lifting. If you’re a triathlete, try a dance class. As our body learns to move in new ways, we grow new synaptic connections to remember and repeat the movement.
  3. Meditate – Meditation is the most profound way to change our brains. We all walk through life completely addicted to the voices inside our head. Bringing quiet to our minds empowers us to be more mindful, present and powerful during the day. If you already meditate daily, try a new methodology. If meditation is new to you, try one of the thousands of free guided meditations available on YouTube. Alternately, you can start by sitting quietly for five minutes and focusing on your breathing. Thanks to functional MRI, we know with scientific certainty that meditation causes our brain to grow new synaptic connections.

These three ways to shock the brain are simple techniques to get you started. I hope you will use your own creative juices to come up with many more! Learning something new and doing something new are powerful defibrillators to living a routine life. By taking small steps to try new things, we make the process of change less overwhelming and intimidating, giving ourselves a fair chance to create a new life.

By

Have You Been Wasting Your Time Trying to Change Others?

Have you ever experienced the frustration of trying to change a person, believing that you are taking all of the right steps to get a successful result, only to have that person stick to their old habits? It can lead to the most volcanic eruptions of anger, can’t it? We yell. We get red faced. We point fingers. All the while, we completely overlook the most obvious answer to the problem at hand.

The best way to successfully change others is to first change yourself. Wait! Don’t slam your laptop closed. Stick with me here…..

Changing ourselves does not mean we are suddenly taking responsibility for other people’s behavior, but rather focusing our efforts where we actually have a chance of being successful. When we focus on changing ourselves, we get these types of results:

  • We change our self-awareness, thus better understanding how we are contributing to the problem at hand.
  • We learn new information, thus increasing our knowledge base to come up with new solutions rather than trying the same old ones (that haven’t worked), over and over.
  • We change our thoughts, so that we let go of anger and past stories of failure and create the mental space to figure out how to lead others to a new reality.
  • We change our communication style to be more resonant with the people we are persuading to change.
  • We change our actions, showing our team that personal change is not only possible, but powerful.

Trying to change others leads to frustration. Changing ourselves leads to results. Max Planck, the originator of quantum theory, said it best, “when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” When you truly understand how to change yourself, you will suddenly and miraculously see those around you change.

By

Avoid the Four Pitfalls of Change Leadership

Basking in the glow of maturity on the bell curve can easily become a downhill decline that is difficult to reverse. Envisioning change and successfully leading your people through it is the pathway to long term success.  However, many leaders get mired in the process of growth because they do not understand the four stages of change, which are denial, resistance, exploration and acceptance.  Knowing and anticipating these stages will help you avoid the four pitfalls most leaders face.

Gaussian, bell or normal distribution curve

Pitfall number one:  Misreading the cues of denial.

I have seen more leaders get tricked (or smile f*^%$d as some of my clients call it) by denial than I care to count. Denial is always the first stage of change.  This stage is only skipped when someone jumps directly to resistance. People rarely jump directly to acceptance.  However, leaders often misread the cues of denial as acceptance.  This happens because denial can look so much like agreement.  It looks like smiling and nodding.  It carries a “yes, sir” kind of attitude. Your team may tell you, “Sure, I’ll follow up with that client!  Sure, I’ll return those e-mails and implement that new process right now!”  But underneath, they have no intention of changing.  They are trying to avoid discomfort.  They are hoping to avoid the task long enough that you forgot you asked them to do it.  You will know they have moved past denial when they start communicating their resistance.

Pitfall number two:  Reacting in an adversarial manner to resistance.

Resistance is often confused with failure.  Leaders are often surprised to find that their teams don’t automatically love their ideas. Resistance becomes obvious when your team tells you how much they don’t love your vision.  They tell you repeatedly that the the new system will not work.  It is not practical.  The old way is better.  People tend to express their opinions in a much more emotional manner when in resistance.  When strong resistance is expressed, it is often seen as an act of defiance of sabotage.  However, if we shift our perceptual lens a bit, we realize that resistance is actually progress.  In order to resist an idea, you have to really contemplate it and think it through, as opposed to denial which is the complete avoidance of progress.  Resistance is necessary to process through new ideas and should be celebrated.  It means your team is one step closer to exploring and ultimately embracing the new process, service or idea.

Pitfall number three:  Stepping away before exploration leads to a positive outcome.

When adults try something new, it is stressful.  Change often invokes feelings of vulnerability and fears of failure.  The transition from resistance to exploration often requires a leader to say, “I understand that you are uncomfortable and you would rather stick to the old way and that is fine.  But, I want you to give the new way a try.  Just try it and see for yourself the outcome.”  Exploration requires a guiding hand and firm accountability.  Make it clear that all feelings and thoughts are welcome, but they will not change the intended path.  If necessary, sit with your team and have them walk through the new process with you.  Do everything you can to ensure that trying the new process leads to a positive outcome.  If your team tries the new idea and find on their own that it is a better practice, they will quickly adopt the change.  If however, exploration leads to a negative outcome, your team will move back to denial or resistance before giving exploration a second chance.

Pitfall number four:  Forgetting to celebrate a successful change.  

Once your team has accepted the change and adopted it as a regular daily practice, be sure you take time to celebrate the accomplishment.  Each new experience we have builds neural pathways.  Celebrating reinforces those pathways and solidifies the positive outcome in our neural network.  In addition, the more we try new things, the more comfortable we become trying new things.  This practice will also help your team to be more flexible with future changes and to move through the cycles more quickly.

To receive weekly insight and guidance, along with tips to set your weekly leadership intention and guide your results, sign up today.